She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
