Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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