Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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