rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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