Swine flu is the new snow day.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
