ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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