There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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