just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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