holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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