i already hear my dad disowning me
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.