Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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