i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize