HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just blew my weed a kiss
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
