The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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