Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
