am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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