Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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