This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
