I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize