you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Randomize
