i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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