No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
