I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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