Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm too high and old for this...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
