i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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