She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
