I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
