I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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