I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
