Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
