i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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