i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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