so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
