do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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