the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
