Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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