WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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