On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
