Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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