At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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