I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
