He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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