This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
