I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There r osticjed everywhere
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
