I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
