It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
