I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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