I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize