And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
3pm strippers are depressing
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize