the new term for farting is butt boxing.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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