Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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