it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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