It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
