Where is the hickey?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
