my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Sorry about my life...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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