she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize
