4 words: hood of his car
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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