somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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