Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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